Week 19 – Last חנוכה + הגנ”ם

Chagim are hard in the army. They’re paid so little attention, and even when they are, it can never feel the same as it did on the outside. Sunday night was the first night of Channukah. I love Channukah; it reminds me of winter and family Channukah parties and staying inside for warmth and light and presents. It’s overall happy. The start of Channukah in the army felt like a polar opposite.

To backtrack for one second to Shabbat. On Friday night, the מ”פ had an open door hour where anyone could go speak to him. I took the opportunity and spoke to him about the conversation I had with my מ”מ. About how I was middle of the pack and wanted to improve. I told him that by the books, I know I’m a good soldier. I’m good physically, don’t complain, take on every order and command right away, and don’t show up late to anything. But, I said, I sort of agree with the מ”מ – I don’t think I’m the best I can be or at the top of the pack. I believe there’s the social side also; being a good soldier is leading others, being a leader in the social groups, and a motivating force. I know, largely because of my Hebrew, that that hasn’t been me.

The מ” פ told me not to think about that. He agreed with my definition of a good soldier and told me that from what he’s seen, I am a good soldier. He told me to keep doing what I’m doing   אמור מעט עושה הרבה
It’s good to hear reassuring words from the מ”פ even if I am older than him 😉

Back to Sunday. I was on עבודת רס”ר – pointless labor. I spent the day sweeping dirt off of sidewalks, but in the afternoon I was told I’d be going down to the מכולות – an area a bit far away from base out in the shetach where the army’s building something. They need soldiers there to guard over the equipment and by luck of the draw I was selected along with a few other guys. During the day there was just one soldier standing guard, but at night, we did shifts as pairs and decided we’d do a 2 hour 40 minute cycle so that everyone would only be woken up once. We barely slept that night anyways. It was 40 degrees, the cots were too small, and we knew we had to get up for shmira soon. It was a good precursor to the weeks in the shetach that are about to come.

The next day at the mecholot was pretty relaxed. We did a workout, guard duty, and gun cleaning. I messed up pretty bad during one of my shifts. I was doing car duty in a tent that we set up outside when it started to rain. Everyone else started bringing the equipment and in the last five minutes of my car duty, while they were bringing the last bit of equipment, I decided to help them out. I came back to the tent and someone asked me to help tighten the knots around the tent, so I obliged. When everything was in and the rain started to pour, I came inside. We were inside with all the equipment and everyone started to relax, so I also sat down and started to relax. I fell asleep, like some of the older soldiers did, and had a certain point the commander that was with us asked,  “who is on guard duty right now?” I had sat down, and actually falling asleep during my shift. I saw him write it down on his phone and later on that day, he read out some of the mistakes that we had all made and hit written down that I didn’t care about my guard duty and just decided to go to sleep. I still haven’t heard, but I’m really hoping I don’t get a punishment.

Throughout the day, it rained, and our tent actually started flooding. I thought I was going to sleep at the mecholot again that night, but right before dinner time the commander told me that I would be going back to base because there was a lone soldier event tomorrow Id need to be back on base to leave for.

On October 7, a lone soldier from France, Eli Valentine was killed. He had an adoptive family in a yishuv 10 minutes away from our base, Netta. The yishuv held a bench building ceremony and Channukah lighting in his memory and specially invited the lone soldiers from our base to come. After the ceremonies, we split up and were invited to different family’s houses for a dinner.

We came back to base around 9:30 and had a class from the Chopel on what to do in a situation where there are lots of injured soldiers around us i.e. an attack causes lots of casualties. Who do you move to safety first, how should you organize the soldiers for removal, etc.

At a certain point in the class, I had a sort of mental pause. I left the world of the army and the impossd normalcy of the subject and was marveling at our quote on quote coldness to the topic. People asked questions like “What if I’m working on one soldier and wrapping a bleeding head with gauze and then another soldier right next to me is shot in the leg. Should I leave the first soldier and go to the second?”

Obviously this is the world a combat soldier could find himself in, but the questions were asked and the topic discussed in very detached way. Like we didn’t grasp the seriousness of what we were discussing.

The מ”פ organized a special morning get together with the chayalim bodedim the next morning. We worked out with him and had a private cereal breakfast with him in his office. He wants us to know that hes looking out for us.

I was on עבודת רס”ר all day – sweeping dirt off sidewalks. But, there was one little ray of sunshine during the pointless labor. I was asked to bring bags into a room of the instructional building and I was shocked to learn we have a library on base. It’s mostly Hebrew books, but after a minute of looking around, I spotted one English book ( I later found more). What’s the first English book I saw? A coffee table book of movies from the 60’s. As if some former cinephile American chayal boded specially left a perfect gift for me. Amazing.

Thursday was the last day of Hagnam and I got the most coveted job: logistics. It’s indoors in the warehouse sorting clothing and commanders return their plugas broken equipment. About an hour in, I was pulled to an even more coveted job within logistics: נשקיה, the gun operations room. Barely anything happens there ans the chayalim that go to there get to relax. The person in charge actually told me to take a nap. I did, and for my post lunch 2 hour shift, I actually brought my book and read.

In the afternoon, we were given time to work on our שפצורים. We’re going to the shetach for two weeks straight after this, so we have to make sure all our equipment is properly labeled and modified. That night, there was a makeup run test for anyone who’d missed the previous one, which I had. I dropped my 3k time again by 6 seconds to 11:41.

After the test, we had an ערב פלוגה. A volunteer organization came to the base and grilled steaks for everyone. An endless supply of steaks for every soldier. It was a great last night before heading home for the weekend.

Channukah has always been a time for friends and family and I’d felt bad that I hadn’t been able to light with my family. We had an hour of free time before bed as opposed to the 30 minutes every other night this week, so I got my family on facetime for my candle lighting. A nice warm hug in the chill of celebrating Channukah in the army.

On Friday, I really felt the pressure of being a lone soldier. I couldn’t really ask anyone to help me buy thermal gear during the week, so I ran around all morning. I was speaking to someone in my apartment building, one of the female lone soldiers who lives upstairs, and she told me about a women who has a lone soldier organization with her husband in Jerusalem. She has a closet full of supplies for lone soldiers, so I reached out, and got tons of supplies from her. The lone soldier support system, especially in Jerusalem, is astonishing. She also gave me a cute card from a girl in America writing to lone soldiers. I remember writing those cards myself. A real full circle moment.

I’m not sure I’ve written about this before, but there’s a dairy restaurant in Yerushalayim, Piccolinos, that has an all you can eat buffet on Friday mornings. The lone soldier center, that I’m a part of, organized a donor who for the past few years has sponsored the buffet for chayalim bodedim. There’s a limit of signups, but if you sign up quickly enough it’s a nice Friday morning treat in Kikar Hamusica. You get to meet other lone soldiers in Jerusalem too.

I also randomly bumped into the family of my best friend from back home, a family whose house I basically grew up in. It was great to catch up with them for a few minutes and just be brought back to the world of Boca for a few minutes.

I spent shabbat in chashmonaim by the Snukals and rushed back to Jerusalem motzash to see the new Avatar movie. There was no public transport that would get me back in time, so I spent a crazy amount on a taxi. Am I proud of it? You bet.

Personally, I find it important to escape for a few hours from the world of the army. Motzash, right before I go back to base is the perfect time to do it. To go spend 3 hours in Imax in the world of Avatar couldn’t be passed up. Especially since we’ll be in the shetach for two weeks straight; no movies, no phones, no contact with the outside world. Just living in the freezing cold learning and practicing maneuvers, carrying tons of weight and walking long distances. It’ll be a good time.