The Perks of Being a Wallflower (2012)

We accept the love we think we deserve

I feel infinite

I'm not sure I'll be able to write coherently about this one.

Sometimes you feel as though a movie was made for you. Like it was waiting for you to press play so it could wrap you up in everything that it is. In its screenplay, its characters, its montages, its soundtrack, its mood and editing and tone. This movie wasn't a "perfect Holywood masterpiece" (whatever that means) but it is perfect for what it is and I feel as though I've been struck by a bolt of lightning in watching it tonight. This movie struck a chord within me.

I'm going through a lot of life changes now. New job, new friends, new country, new everything. I've felt lost and lonely. And then here this movie comes; it hits differently when you're feeling lost in life. You watch it through Charlie's eyes. You become friends with his friends and feel transported back to high school when, to an even greater extent, you were figuring out who you were and what life was.

You remember the zany Patrick like friends that you had. The mistakes you made in relationships and friendships. You, obviously, fall in love with Emma Watson's character and remember the high school crushes you had. You remember discovering cool songs and going to parties and getting into trouble. You remember being a kid again.

And for a moment, for those two hours of watching the movie, you feel an even warmer embrace in what it felt like to be lost and uncertain. High school is when we're figuring ourselves and the world out, but thats what were meant to be doing. We were meant to be like babes in the wild and that was ok. There was a comfort in knowing that no one knows and everyones figuring it out. Everyone fails in lov., if you're lucky, you do the figuring out with a group of friends who love you back.

I miss that. I miss the high school naivete. I'm lost and confused now and I miss that being so ok. I loved the depth this movie brought to that feeling through Charlie's eyes.

I dont even know if what I'm writing makes sense or what I'm writing anymore so I'm going to stop. But I do know this. This movie made me feel a feeling I haven't had in a long time. It changed my perspective and made me remember ways I used to look at the world.

Its going right into my foundational movies to be a better human list. I can't wait to rewatch